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Weekly Challenge: The Early Morning Window

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I’ve become a morning person. It’s insane!! I never thought I’d become a morning person. I always figured myself to be the typical lazy teenager who wakes up at 10 and does nothing all day. For the past three days, I’ve woken up before my alarm. I’ve had breakfast, I never have breakfast. I’ve even left the house, a lot.

There is a number one culprit to the change in my sleep cycle, my window. A brief description of my room: I’ve got the bed in the middle, to my left there’s a window and a desk with mountains of paper, and some toys and broken technology. And to my left, there’s my post-modern completely doorless bathroom. So I can see the toilet, shower, bath and basin from my bed. Above the bath, there are these three windows, because great things always come in threes don’t they? The Ocean’s Trilogy, The Godfather Trilogy, Orion’s Belt, The Pyramids of Giza. The last two are related by the way, I’ll let you figure it out. Anyway, ideally each of these 3 great windows is meant to have a blind over it. But the wall is a curve, so the second one cannot have a blind. So, like The Godfather II, it is the one that sheds light on all.

Consequently, the grand and bright early summer mornings of South Africa have allowed me to rise at obscene hours of the morning. I never really liked the concept of waking up early or catching the worm. I don’t like worms. But now I’ve grown fond of it. The mornings, I mean. Just let the worms live!

Anyway, I suppose I should get up…or something.

Xx
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Posted as part of the Weekly Challenge.

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Jolting into Life

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My head feels empty. I hate this feeling. Ideally it should be teeming with coherent thoughts and ideas but it isn’t. Although I suppose it’s a good thing. It gives way for a completely new idea to be born and thrive in it’s isolation. I suppose that’s what ideas need, solitude. They need to take the spotlight and shine in order to be heard. They’re narcissists, ideas. The brainchild is a selfish thing that wants to take up all of your time.

It’s very quiet. Not in my head, around me. I hear crickets, like I usually do at night. I’ve decided to step outside and admire the night sky. The cool night air does wonders for the mind. All l the nerves come alive at the change in temperature and you start to hear useless things in your head, like the weather forecast.

I’m sitting on the wall, it’s terrifying. I could either fall backwards and break my neck or fall forward and fall into the pool, severely injuring myself in some creative and exciting way. But I stay still and there is no vertigo. The nerves don’t react to the danger as they do to the cold. It’s because I’m stable. It’s only if I decide to make a move forward or backward that my nerves will register the danger and respond with many noises. Just like the stagnant room temperature that made my head quiet. I moved outside and the change has my head buzzing.

And bow there are ideas, words and images swimming in my head as they should. The swoosh of stories gone by is exhilarating. The splashing and crashing of voices on the shore of my mind has me feeling like I’m on the edge of the world, speaking to everyone and no one.

None of it makes sense. But it’s all there. It’s movement.

Take a walk. Go outside. Feel your brain come alive.

Evolutionary Paradox

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The most profound thoughts only come to a person after the text is written, in the conclusion. Which is a drag because you could have a banger of an introduction, but no.

There’s a noise in my head. And I’m afraid that you might hear it. I have a habit of not editing things. So I tend to spew whatever is on my mind and any regret I have is delayed. Could this be a flaw? May we one day be ashamed at the way we waxed poetic with reckless abandon all over the internet? We hang up our hearts and souls to dry and we await any sense of gratification, instant is always preferred. We mould ourselves to suit the preferences of others. We go on journeys to find out who we are only to change it for the likes and comments.

Unless it’s who we really are. Human beings are social creatures, they say. So it might be that we’re regressing to a primal state while transcending to a heightened sense of sentience. We’ve evolved to our most advanced and primal state. We seek basic comfort at the speed of light. It’s an evolutionary paradox. We want cyber-hugs and hyper-kisses.

Nowadays, the Id is fed by the buzzing in your pocket. If Freud was alive, he’d coin some Greek term for the attachment we have to our phones and the need we have to display ourselves to the world.

Question is, at the next evolutionary stage, will we be ashamed? We would have every reason to be. We have displayed every weakness for the predators to feed upon us. Fellows gratify us and foes feast upon our vulnerability. But the possibility that we might not be ashamed is there. We are always grateful to our ancestors for recording their present for us to view. We thank them and continue to record our own present for future generations. Might it be that one day they might be grateful for what we have done? They may marvel at our ability to come so far as to tell them what’s on our minds, a simple and impossible task.

You display your pain and suffering in a glass case so that I won’t feel alone. I spew the noise in my mind so that you won’t feel alone. We scream together through these words, though we are afraid. We’ll regret it later.

Xx

The Leibster Award

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This blogging thing is hard.

I sat for week trying to come up with things to post. I finally posted a few things, on this lovely sunny Sunday. But I needed more. I looked at the photography challenges, the writing challenges, and things came to mind. But thoughts are like first-time bungee-jumpers, they need to be pushed of a bridge, despite all protest, so that they can scream loud enough to be heard. So I’m in front of my computer, there’s all these distractions and stuff too. Sunday dishes, birds, the moon, the sun (weird how sometimes they’re up at the same time), then I got this comment from itsdd2, author of Occasional Stuff saying that she liked my about page (I’ve been working hard on that) and that she’s nominated me for a Leibster Award! Big Thank You!!

So there’s a lot that goes on with The Leibster Award. Basically:

  1. Thank the person that nominated you and give them a shout out by linking to their blog
  2. Answer 10 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 10 other bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers (that might take some time. Those will come soon)
  4. Come up with 10 questions for your chosen nominees to answer.

Now, it’s in my best interests to “pingback” itsdd2 so that she can share this post and my thank you with others. Now to answer her questions.

1. Why did you start your blog?

I started my blog because I have always wanted to start one and now I finally have tons of time on my hands. I’ve decided to take a gap-year, and even though it’s going to seem like this blog is me ‘documenting’ my experience, it’s not because that’s really cheesy. I suppose it’s something to keep me warm at night.

2. What might have (or has) prevented you from continuing?

There’s a variety of things that have made my progress slow, but fear not as I have not halted. For one thing, South African internet is particularly slow. I’ve also had many things that I’ve had to do this past week, and I think my blog is about a week old. Another thing is the powerful and absolute block that I had rested on my cerebrum, preventing me from thinking lovely thoughts for you to read. But now it seems the gears have been jerked into motion.

3. It’s a cold, dark, wet day here. What’s it like where you live?

Here in Johannesburg, where I live, it was a sunny 28 degree Celsius day, to be meteorological about it. But if I’m being whimsical, the sun was shining bright and high without a cloud in the sky. It’s night-time now and thought the sun is no longer here to warm the land, it’s still as hot as it was this morning. And there’s a little bird enjoying the sun.

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This bird was making a whole lot of noise while i was trying to come up with a post. So I shot it. As you can see, it’s magnificent.

4. What do you like to do when the weather is bad?

When the weather is bad, I love wearing the warmest clothes that I can find. I make myself a special comfort meal and a warm drink, usually tea. And then I watch a movie. Usually some sort of art film. But I believe you don’t need bad weather for that.

5. Do you have a pet? If yes, tell me about it, or if not, what’s your favourite animal?

Unfortunately I do not have a pet, but it is in my 5 year plan. my favourite animal…I may have a few. The first that springs to mind is a french bulldog, they’re absolutely adorable. The next, is a galapagos tortoise, because I think that if I could speak to one, it would tell me that Darwin smelled funny.

6. Show me a picture of what makes you happy. Why does it make you happy?

The Sky. I like taking pictures of it. Especially at dusk or dawn. It’s a friendly reminder of the infinity that awaits me.

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7. Did you read anything that made you laugh in the last week?

I read a short and simple tweet. “If Michael Cera doesn’t start a t-shirt line so that he can use the slogan ‘Try Cera Tops’…well then he’s just an idiot”

I laughed for about an hour.

8. What is your favourite article of clothing, and why?

I have this blue and black scarf that my girlfriend gave me before she left. I love it the most. I haven’t worn it yet because it’s really really hot. But it’s still my favourite. Only because she gave it to me.

9. Favourite food? (As many as you like!)

I like sweet foods. Waffles, pancakes, flapjacks, ice-cream, and stuff. I like meat a lot too though. Mostly beef. I appreciate a good steak. Pork is also a favourite, eisbein especially. Even though it looks like heart disease. I imagine at some point this year I should try a vegetarian challenge because I like them, but I don’t pay them enough mind. Though I’m afraid I might lose my appetite for meat and become a defective carnivore.

I like food.

10. Do you play any sports regularly?

No.

Okay, that’s unfair, I should say more. I need to prepare myself for sports. I’ll get there eventually. I imagine I’ll play something like tennis. That might be fun.

With all questions answered, this is my longest post so far. I hope you enjoyed it. Please come back to see my nominees and please do follow.

Day 6: New Element

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The zero to hero challenge has called for a new element on the blog. Here is mine.

When I was young, I used to think of the world as separated into three: the skies, the land and the sea. I would think that our level ground is to fish in the sea what the clouds are to us. The fish would roam endlessly in their existence as we would trek on foot from place to place, conquering our own personal challenges, never really thinking about what lies beyond. I found a comparison that proves my theory. Planes that soar n the sky are like our cars and the ships in the sea. It’s all the same. We all remain in our realms.

Until a brave little fish gets tired of swimming from place to place, and looks up from his daily grind to see what lies beyond. he wants to know what more there is out there, what more there is to see. So he jumps out of the water and soars beyond naturally into the skies.

Every once in a while, we need to step back. We need to look away from our everyday routine and understand the vastness of the world that we are in. By doing so, we realise just how small we are in this world. But when you step back, don’t take your small size as a feeling of insignificance. it is the greatest advantage we have. We could be the size of a whale, but he size of the world in comparison allows us to move anywhere we want.

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Oil in the Gears

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Sarah had never wanted anything more than to sit down at the table in complete silence and enjoy the treats laid out in front of her. There was a voluminous doughnut caked in icing, a steaming cup of coffee and, at the bottom of a trail of smoke, a Virginia Slim cigarette. After a long and tiring day of trying to get her life together, she could come home to he three most favourite vices.

The day was gray with clouds and the faint roar of the city on the other side of the walls made her anxiety bubble. But she knew that when she sat at her kitchen table, there was peace. There were no debt collectors, angry restaurant patrons or harsh directors around to remind her of her continuing streak of bad luck. Ths was the only moment in the day where she could come toward herself and think about all the things that needed thought. She had to make concrete plans for the future and lose the crippling focus that she had on the past. This was her chance not only to regroup, but to be alone. She had always valued her solace, even as a child.

“One of these days, my desperate antics are gonna get me killed.” she thought aloud. It was as if she was speaking to her coffee, to explain why exactly she was drinking it. “I owe too much money to too many people. One day soon, someone’s gonna break my legs.”

She looked down at the newspaper and saw an article on gambling addiction. She had never gambled before, but the prospect now seemed possible to her. “I’ve never thought of myself as having an addictive personality, so it could be a safe bet.” She took a pull from her cigarette.

The kitchen table: a place where Sarah can think. She sits with her vices in the silence and contemplates her next moves. They may not be the best ideas, but they’re ideas.

A Vague Understanding

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There are many different ways and forms of happiness. Most involving money, or lack hereof. The former idea is that a person can become so successful that all their earthly worries are dispelled, and they may transcend into a world of happiness. The latter entails an abandonment of all material goods, except for he essentials,  allowing a person to free themselves and live off the salt of the earth.

No one can really be sure which one works, what the optimal solution to happiness might be or how to attain it. Many claim that they have it, and if they feel that they truly do, it is not for us to tell them that they’re wrong.

When I was young, I always used to walk on this dirt path. I’m convinced that this path is a product of my imagination, but I see myself walk nonetheless. It’s a very flat road, with towering trees on either side. Whenever I see this place, it’s always autumn. The leaves have toppled to the floor, colouring it gold, yellow, red and orange. The time is always dusk, and the suns rays shine in between the branches, setting the path ablaze in warm gold. There is absolute silence. No cars, people, not even birds.

When I imagine this place, I immediately close my eyes. Warm feelings are conjured within me, dispelling any and every thought I had in that moment. This thought is selfish, and always wants my undivided attention. I always surrender peacefully, and let my mind take me to that place. Here, there is nothing but me and I feel overwhelmed with importance and insignificance. Important as I am the keeper of this place, and insignificant as this place doesn’t need me in order to thrive. I feel at home. I feel happy.

The thing about this place is that it always comes out of nowhere. There is never any image, sound or smell that prompts it. But it always makes me feel infinitely better than I do before it summons me.

That is my happiness. Though I am too young to understand life and all its misery, the place i am sent to out of serendipity always makes me feel a familiar feeling. I call it happiness.

Day 3: The thing on my mind

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I write this post perched on a balcony very early in the morning, watching the sun rise. The birds are chattering away with their early morning gossip, I’ve always wanted to know what they say. “Oh these humans and their stuff.” Or would it be arrogant to think that the think about us so early in the morning?

The sky I see has hues of blues that fade into almost white and then orange and pink, opposite the colour spectrum. The pink that lies just on the horizon makes me think of pink lemonade. The only thing that makes me think of, completely non-sequitor, where do they get the pink lemons?

I feel cold. The morning chill no doubt. Ironic because the reason I’m up is the intense South African heat. Silly me, I thought it would be hot outside too. But duh, obviously it’s cold, what was I thinking?

I might be rambling, but there is a point to all of this. When I first decided to start blogging, the theme that I wanted to follow was the way I see the world. I know it’s not kittens in sweaters, but I found it interesting because it might not be the way you see it. My friend Malaika once told me that my orange might be her green. It made me realise that there are 7 billion different ways to view the world, and we’ll never see them unless we ask.

I know you didn’t ask, but if you don’t, who will?

The clouds in the sky have turned pink, so to answer my previous question, lemonade farmers take their jet-packs and harness the rare essence of pink clouds. Yes, jet-packs, it is 2014. That’s what the chirping birds say anyway.

I have to get off my phone and enjoy nature, and you’re distracting me.

Xx

Day 1: Playing Catch-Up

The most difficult question posed to me is who I am. It always seems as if there are many answers yet I come up short. Spoilt for choice, perhaps.

Starting simply, I am an 18 year old who is at the beginning of life. A cliche known all too well by the grown-ups on the other side of the hill.

I am frightened and excited because this year could take me absolutely anywhere, I just need the discipline and luck to point myself in the right direction.

I am currently on a gap year and have many dreams and aspirations that need to play out this year. I won’t mention them yet, the universe might jinx me, so I’m playing this close to the chest.

I now have a blog, which is something I’ve been wanting to do for years, but have never had the time. Now that I have nothing but time, we’re going to become bosom buddies. The reason I started this blog was to give myself n excuse to write more, a skill I might lose without the help of the everyday English class. I want to call it a New Year’s Resolution, but that might mean I’ll stop in 3 days, so let’s not label it.

There’s a dramatic and mysterious sign-off to this point somewhere in my mind, but darn it I can’t find it anywhere. I suppose this will just have to be it.

Xx